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Infant Loss Support - Resources for Healing

Too Beautiful For Earth

The loss of an infant is a heartbreak unlike any other, leaving you to navigate a world forever changed. At Too Beautiful for Earth, we are here to support you with a heartfelt community and vital resources to guide you through this journey.

 

Based in Eugene, Oregon, we’ve compiled a list of local and national resources—support groups, hotlines, and online communities—to connect you with others who understand your pain. We also provide guidance on managing practical challenges, such as bereavement leave, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), and economic burdens post-loss.

 

Our mission is to ensure you feel seen, supported, and empowered to honor your child’s memory while finding hope and healing.

Local Resources

  • A free support group for parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Meets monthly (first Wednesday, 6:30–8:00 PM) at PeaceHealth RiverBend, 3333 RiverBend Dr, Springfield, OR 97477. Contact: (541) 222-2468 or perinatalcare@peacehealth.org. Walk-ins welcome.

  • Offers free bereavement support groups for adults, including those grieving infant loss, in Eugene. Groups meet biweekly, with individual counseling available. Contact: (541) 461-7557 or hospice@peacehealth.org.

  • Perinatal Mental Health Support: Provides free and low-cost support services for parents experiencing pregnancy or postpartum depression, anxiety, or grief, including after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Services include support groups, peer mentoring, and resource referrals. Visit wellmamaoregon.com or contact (541) 510-6754 for more information.

  • A community-led group for all types of grief, including infant loss, meeting monthly at various Eugene locations (check website for schedule). Visit meetup.com for details or contact eugenegriefsupport@gmail.com.

National Resources

  • A national community offering support groups (in-person and virtual), a 24/7 hotline (800-821-6819), and online forums for parents, grandparents, and siblings grieving miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Visit nationalshare.org for local chapters and resources. 

  • Provides support for families who have lost a child of any age, with over 500 chapters nationwide, including virtual groups. Offers a 24/7 crisis hotline (877-969-0010) and private Facebook groups. Visit compassionatefriends.org to find a chapter or join online.

  • Supports families grieving the death of a child, with online support groups, a discussion board, and family support packets. Includes resources for traumatic grief and perinatal loss. Visit missfoundation.org or call (888) 455-MISS. 

  • Offers resources for pregnancy and infant loss, including virtual support groups, a provider directory, and a helpline (800-944-4773, text “Help” to 800-944-4773). Visit postpartum.net for support in English and Spanish.

  • Focuses on SIDS, stillbirth, and infant loss, providing a bereavement hotline (800-221-7437) and online support groups. Visit firstcandle.org for grief resources and safe sleep education.

  • Offers holistic support for pregnancy and infant loss, with virtual support groups, resources in Spanish, and LGBTQIA+ specific support. Visit rtzhope.org or call (805) 318-8550.

  • Provides perinatal bereavement resources, including a global directory of support groups and a 24/7 chat service. Visit stillbirthday.com for peer support and provider training.

Online Communities

  • A private online community for parents grieving pregnancy or infant loss, offering forums and virtual events. Visit glowinthestars.org to join.

  • A Facebook group with over 10,000 members sharing stories and support for infant loss. Search “Grieving Parents Support Network” on Facebook to request access.

    • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: For grief leading to thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988 (24/7). 

    • Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Hotline: 800-821-6819 (24/7, English/Spanish). 

    • Compassionate Friends Crisis Hotline: 877-969-0010 (24/7). 

Bereavement Leave And FMLA

  • The practical challenges after infant loss—such as taking time off work or managing finances—can feel like an added burden on your grief. Below, we provide guidance on navigating bereavement leave, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), and related policies to help you secure the time and support you need.

    • What It Is: Bereavement leave is time off granted by employers to grieve, attend funerals, or handle arrangements after a loved one’s death. Most employers offer 1–5 days, often paid, with 3 days common for immediate family (e.g., a child). Some provide less for extended family or colleagues (e.g., 1 day or 4 hours). 

    • Oregon Policies: Oregon does not mandate bereavement leave, but many employers follow national trends. Check your employee handbook or contact HR to confirm your company’s policy (e.g., days offered, paid vs. unpaid, proof requirements like an obituary). 

    • Tips:

      • Communicate early with your employer or HR about your needs. Be candid about your grief, as openness can lead to flexibility (e.g., additional unpaid leave or use of PTO). 

      • If your employer requests proof of death, provide an obituary or funeral program, though this may feel intrusive. 

      • If your policy offers limited days (e.g., 3 days), ask about combining with vacation or sick leave for more time. 

    • What It Is: FMLA is a federal law providing up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in a 12-month period for eligible employees at companies with 50+ employees within a 75-mile radius. 

    • Eligibility for Infant Loss: FMLA does not cover bereavement leave directly (e.g., time to grieve or attend a funeral). However, you may qualify if you or a family member develops a serious health condition related to the loss, such as depression or anxiety requiring medical treatment. 

    • How to Use FMLA:

      • Consult a healthcare provider to document a serious health condition (e.g., clinical depression). You’ll need medical certification for FMLA approval. 

      • Notify your employer promptly and request FMLA paperwork. Be transparent about your needs, though you may face stigma for citing mental health; advocates note this can deter parents from using FMLA. 

      • FMLA maintains group health benefits during leave, but it’s unpaid, so plan for income loss. 

    • Oregon-Specific: Oregon’s Family Leave Act (OFLA) mirrors FMLA but includes bereavement leave for up to 2 weeks per death of a family member (max 12 weeks/year), covering infant loss. OFLA applies to employers with 25+ employees and is unpaid. Contact the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries (971-673-0761) for details.

    • FMLA and OFLA may not cover small businesses (<25 employees in Oregon, <50 for FMLA). In such cases, rely on employer policies or negotiate unpaid leave. 

    • The short duration of most bereavement leave (1–5 days) may feel insufficient for infant loss, which can lead to prolonged grief. Consider discussing extended leave options with your employer. 

    • Stigma around mental health may discourage using FMLA for grief-related conditions. Seek support from a counselor or advocate to navigate this.

Economic Challenges Post-Loss

  • Infant loss often brings unexpected financial burdens, from medical bills to funeral costs, compounded by time away from work. Below, we offer strategies to manage these economic challenges and connect you with resources to ease the strain.

    • Medical Bills: Hospital stays, delivery costs, or neonatal care can result in significant debt, even with insurance. Bills may linger months after loss, adding stress.

    • Funeral or Memorial Costs: Cremation, burial, or memorial services can cost $1,000–$5,000, often unplanned expenses. 

    • Lost Income: Bereavement leave or FMLA is typically unpaid, and extended time off can strain household budgets, especially for single-income families. 

    • Ongoing Expenses: Ongoing costs (e.g., rent, utilities) don’t pause, making financial planning critical during grief.

  • Medical Bill Assistance:

    • Contact your hospital’s financial aid office to negotiate bills or apply for charity care. Many hospitals, like PeaceHealth in Eugene, offer sliding scale or forgiveness programs. Call (541) 686-7191 for PeaceHealth’s financial services.

    • Explore national programs like the HealthWell Foundation (800-675-8416, healthwellfoundation.org), which provides grants for medical debt related to perinatal care.

    Funeral Cost Support:

    • Tears Foundation: Offers financial assistance for infant burial or cremation costs. Visit tearsfoundation.org or call (253) 200-6330. 

    Income Support:

    • Apply for Oregon’s Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) for short-term financial aid if income is disrupted. Visit oregon.gov/odhs or call (800) 699-9075.

    • Check with your employer about short-term disability insurance, which may cover income loss due to grief-related mental health conditions. 

    Utility and Housing Assistance:

    • Eugene Water & Electric Board (EWEB): Offers bill assistance for low-income households. Call (541) 685-7000 or visit eweb.org/assistance.

    • St. Vincent de Paul Society of Lane County: Provides emergency rent and utility assistance. Call (541) 687-5820 or visit svdp.us.

    • Create a Budget: List essential expenses (rent, utilities) and prioritize them. Cut non-essential costs temporarily to manage unpaid leave.

    • Document Everything: Keep records of medical bills, employer communications, and assistance applications to avoid disputes or missed deadlines.

    • Ask for Help: Don’t hesitate to reach out to family, friends, or community organizations. Small gestures, like meal trains, can ease financial pressure. 

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Find Support Today

You don’t have to face these challenges alone. Schedule a case management consultation with Caroline to gain the clarity and support you need to navigate infant loss. With personalized guidance and a heart for healing, we’re here to help you through this journey. Submit your request now and take a step toward peace.

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